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19th March 2005

1:17am: Roulette!!!!
Tonight was our floor's roulette. A roulette is where your roomate picks a date for you and then you go out as a group. We decided to do a photo scavenger hunt in Chicago. Once we all got to the trainstation in chicago we split up into groups of four couples. My group included me, molly, lauren, and maria and our dates. OF course i was with my girls, who else would i hang out with?! Anyway- we were given this list of stuff we had to do and take pics of but we found it more fun to take random pictures of us doing things along the way. For example, we had the boys go into the Hard Rock Cafe and go into the display windows and model/pose with the manaquins and we all took pictures. It was soo much fun. We all thought it would be awkward at first but the guys that we all picked for each other were soo awesome and a lot of fun to hangout with. We decided we want to have a reunion so we can hangout as a group again because it was soo much fun.
Current Mood: excited

13th March 2005

4:58pm: Spring break was amazing
On a cloudy Saturday morning

We pulled out of SAGA's drive

Piled in a limo,

And got on our jive.

Our limo was packed with suitcases and a guitar inside

The Last of the Dogmen was our entertainment for the ride.

We arrived in Tampa that Saturday

And while we waited for the van to be cleaned, amongst the suitcases we did lay.

Bonding in that crowded van was such a fun time.

Upon our arrival to the condo, not a chair nor a couch did we find.

Sunday morning, Idlewild was the place.

We learned about family values and God's grace.

That afternoon we lounged by the pool.

Soaking up Florida's sun, we were pretty cool.

The water was chillingly cold.

Only a few took the plunge, the brave and the bold.

That evening we had a night on the city

We watched Hitch; Will Smith was very pretty and witty.

Monday was when the work began

We sorted clothes at Metro's thrift store, what a cool ministry they ran.

At St. Joseph's hospital, we put together “ouch” bags for a child.

We were disappointed because we wanted to work with the kids for a while.

We walked on St. Pete's beach by night.

The ocean was calm and peaceful, what a beautiful sight.

Monday night at ten o'clock sharp was time for mac n' cheese.

Joe and Daniel, our faithful chefs, our stomachs did please.

Tuesday was our free day and it was really cold

Prior to leaving that morning, for the handyman our clothes we did fold.

The wind at the beach got sand everywhere

Joe and Daniel tried to fly a kite and woke Christy and Sarah up, but they didn't care.

At ten o'clock it was time for a slurpee run.

We walked over the bladder bumps instead of driving, which was a lot of fun.

Wednesday morning we made dolls with the kids.

But before we left, our luggage once again we hid.

At Metro Min, we got down with Kevin and packed a bunch of boxes.

It rained most of the day so traded in our sandals for shoes and sockses.

That night we had a highlight of our trip:

A staged proposal was our mission, but we almost let me slip.

Joe told of how his and Jen's parents died together in a car crash one year ago today.

And how she rescued him from a bully and saved the day.

Everyone cried, the women swooned,

We got no free food, so our plan was doomed.

Our waitress told us that Daniel Kim would be good at math.

We all gave her an evil glare so she could feel our wrath.

Thursday brought us to A Woman's Place

We put together folders and stuffed donuts in our face.

When they ran out of things for us to do

We chilled at Brenda's house, which was pretty coo.

We made some phone calls

Then loaded up for Clearwater Beach, which excited us all.

We watched the most beautiful sunset on the rocks.

And sang the doxology while looking at the pirate ship pulling away from the docks.

Friday morning was spent at the kitchen at Metro.

They made the girls lift 40-pound boxes which was pretty retro.

A bitter man in a red shirt ordered us around

Lindsay chopped up onions which made a hideous odor abound.

At the hospital a game of BINGO did we play

Whitney, our hotline operator, made everyone's day.

Her friend Jenna the camera she did maneuver.

While Joe the MC cracked jokes that could not have been smoother.

On the way to the beach a traffic jam halted our drive.

So we took a short cut which landed us at a great beach around five.

The island was like an alternate world.

Blue skies, sandy beaches, our happiness was unfurled.

We stopped at a diner that was quickly within our reach.

The food was good but slow

There was only one poor waitress to take the burden of the blow.

Seven days since our last visit

We headed back to the airport, man we really missed it

Our flight was delayed for 3 hours

But soon we were sailing over the flowers.

So we say goodbye to Daniel Kim, Joe's associate

And to the warm, shining sun (well at least most of it)

Goodbye Uies and our well-traveled bridge

And to all the food that we had to throw out of the fridge,

To life stories and sleeping on the floor,

To “feeling” everything and not telling lies or jokes any more,

To singing hymns to the tune of Joe's guitar,

To proposals and oceans and the pink palace of CeSar,

To seashores and seashells and walks on the beach

Holy moly! Let's not forget all the “isms” of precious and his speech.

So goodbye to Florida and our 2005 spring break

Thank you to God for all the incredible memories we were able to make.

To Melanie and Cathy for capturing those moments in a photo

And Lindsay for being such a great trip leader—way to go!

Thank you God for bringing us all together

And help us to adjust to this cold, cold weather!

-Sara Motsinger (fellow trip member)
Current Mood: complacent

3rd March 2005

10:18am: Spring Break!!!... in 2 days!
So yeah, i haven't updated my journal in a while and i apologize for htat. My life has been so busy. Lot's of drama and you know how the story goes. Just have to say that I can't wait for spring break which is in just 2 days!!! I will be going to Tampa, Fl on a missions trip with 8 other people from school. So, sooo excited for hte trip. We leave on @ 11am for... midway. Never have flown midway but not too excited about that part. Oh well, just happy that we get to fly. I love flying. You can call me crazy i don't care but i love to fly. I love the whole experience of being in the airport, waiting in the terminal, and seeing all the different people. I don't like the security though. The last two times i have flown i have worn a belt with metal in it so i have had to take it off, unbutotn my jeans, and fold the waist down for them to check me. Bad experience, especially since everyone else is waiting for you and watching.
Molly and Maria are going to Cali to visit a friend of our's who transfered out last semester. She lives in Orange County so they should have an awesome time soaking up some south cali rays.
Lauren is just going home to relax with her family and some friends.
I think next year the 4 of us should take a roadtrip somewhere, or multiple somewheres. That would be awesome. We are going to have cars here next year and we are going to take advantage of that!

Ok, time to get ready for the day... I have a 3 hour bio lab today :(
Current Mood: excited

11th February 2005

11:33pm: memories for someone
I was looking through my journal which is full of stuff from Challenge 2004 in Utah when i came across a poem that someone had written during the bus ride back to Illinois. I know my journal had been passed around so people could use some of the paper and i think that whoever wrote the poem forgot to tear it out. Its really good:

Music of the Night

Nightime shapens
Hightens each sensation
Darkness stirs
And wakes imagination
Suddenly the senses
Start shedding their defenses

Slowly, gently
Night unfurls its splendor
Grasp it, sense it
Tremulous and tender
Turn your face away
From the garrish light of day
Turn your thoughts away
From cold unfeeling light
And listen to the the music
The music of the night
Close your eyes

If you had anything to do with this poem please let me know!! Its good!
Current Mood: calm
10:56pm: so hopeless....
Its a friday night and what else would we do since we don't have cars? That's right, we get one of the sophomores to drive us to Jewel to stock up on food and hit up Blockbuster. And what movie would 3 single girls get on a friday night with nothing to do.... that's right a chick flick, and not just any chick flick but one you can cry with. We choose the Notebook. SOOOOOO good! I think you guys would even like it. I have to say that it met all our expectations: it had hot guys, a love story, and a tear jerker of an ending. I balled. Not just my eyes tearing but sobbing that required gulps of air. I am so bad when it comes to sad movies, hopeless actually. I cry during almost everything and this movie caused me to cry the second worst. The first was A Walk to Remember. Way to go Nicholas Sparks, you sure know how to make a girl cry! So I totally recomend the movie, the book, and the sequel book "The Wedding". I need to go wash my face now because it is covered with black tear streaks from my mascara, quite a sight.... good thing molly got a picture of it (not!).
Current Mood: melancholy

9th February 2005

7:24pm: Someday....
This is a song that my friend Sarah told me to listen to. Someday i hope that i have a guy who will want to sing this about me...It is by a group called Stephen Speaks. Their other music is also really good!

"Out of my league"

It’s her hair and her eyes today
That just simply take me away
And the feeling that I’m falling further in love
Makes me shiver but in a good way
All the times I have sat and stared
As she thoughtfully thumbs through her hair
And she purses her lips, bats her eyes
And she plays with me sitting there slack jawed
And nothing to say

And I love her with all that I am
And my voice shakes along with my hands
Cuz’ she’s all that I see
And she’s all that I need
And I’m out of my league once again

It’s a masterful melody
When she calls out my name to me
As the world spins around her
She laughs, rolls her eyes
And I feel like I’m falling
But it’s no surprise

Because I love her with all that I am
And my voice shakes along with my hands
Cuz it’s frightening to be swimming in this strange see
But I’d rather be here than on dry land
Yes she’s all that I see
And she’s all that I need
And I ‘m out of my league once again

It’s her hair and her eyes today
That just simply take me away
And the feeling that I’m falling further in love
Makes me shiver but in a good way
All the times that I have sat and stared
As she thoughtfully thumbs through her hair
As she purses her lips, bats her eyes
And she plays with me sitting there slacked jawed
And nothing to say

Cuz’ I love her with all that I am
My voice shakes along with my hands
Cuz its frightening to be swimming in this strange sea
But I’d rather be here than on land
Yes she’s all that I see
And she’s all that I need
And I’m out of my league once again
Current Mood: hopeful

8th February 2005

10:42pm: Entry from my real journal
The God that created the universe, the God that can raise men from the dead, the God that saved humanity, that has thousands of angels praising him 24/7 wants to have a personal relationship with me, wants to be my friend, and wants to protect me. I can say this over and over bu tteh truth is my mond can't understand the huge magnitutde of what that means for me. If I did I would be able to surrender my entire life to God and i can't. There are so many areas in my life that i refuse to give over to God. I don't understand why i can't; He is God!!! He can do anything, is all knowing, and all powerful. He is MORE than able to take care of my insignificant life, so why can't i surrender my complete self to him? I think this is a question that I will be asking myself my whole life. My faith has a lot of growing to do and i pray that God will continue to open up doors and opportunities that will enable my faith to grow. I want to know God more so i can understand teh importance of him having control over my life. I am a very stubborn person, I always have been. I want to do everything on my own and my way. God has a plan for my life and i can't follow my own plan for my life; it will fail. Everything of this world that is not of God will fail. I fear though that i will not know what his plan is and i will fail, and i guess that's what i fear the most: failure. I just need to cling to God daily. I tell that to myself everyday because it's true. Life is life a pit filled with blood thirsty monsters and God is the bridge that will enable us to cross that pit. God is amazing!!! It hurts me to know how much i have turned my back on him and basically spat in his face. We all do it and all he ever wanted was to give us an eternal life in heaven instead of damnation in hell.

Titus 3:5-8
He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the holy spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our savior, so that having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.

2 Timothy 2:11-13
If we died with him
We also live with him;
If we endure
We also reign with him.
If we disown him,
He will also disown us;
if we are faithless,
He will remain faithful,
for he cannot disown himself.
Current Mood: sore- heels + chicago

7th February 2005

8:50pm: Awesome weekend!!!
*Sigh* Always a bummer to get back into the humdrum of life after a greaet weekend. But I have to say that I like the humdrum of life at Wheaton College for the most part. I love having to get up before my roomate and having to wake her up so we can get to breakfast on time. I love eating my scrambled eggs at SAGA and packing my lunch. I love sitting in chemistry with Maddison and Jenny with a prof who had a vile of his own blood taken just for a demonstration (that's dedication). I love having the whole school worshipping at chapel and being able to go to a school where everyone share's my love for the God most high! I love eating my lunch in bio with stephanie and singing hymns before class starts with our prof acapella (doesn't always sound that great but is awesome). I love sitting in philosophy with one of the smartest women i know and learning about stuff that is WAY over my head with others who feel the same way i do. I love coming back to my room after classes and being able to take a deep breath of relaxtion. I love my afternoon runs by myself and then lifting with my roomate. I love going to dinner in SAGA with my friends and sitting and watching everyone else wondering what their lives are like and who they are (people watching in SAGA is our hobby :) . I love sitting in my room at night with my roomate while we do our homework and listen to our great music which includes just about everything but rap. I love wednesday nights when a whole bunch of people gather to watch Alias in the lobby. I love making fun of the lobby couples in our dorm. I love watching movies on the weekends with the girls on my floor. I love taking pictures of Maria, Lauren, Molly, and me so we can have collages of pics all over our room next year in hopes of being the most vain room ever. I love how Lauren adds a "y" to the end of her pharses when she wants something from me ("will rub my backy).
So i love a lot of things about Wheaton and my life here but there are also things i don't like so much:
I don't like my roomate's boyfriend at all, actually i cringe everytime his name is mentioned or he calls, which is like 10 times a day, and i dont' like the way he treats maria! I don't like how i don't get any credit for my 3 hour labs even though they require just as much word as my other classes, if more. I really don't like having chem lab on wed afternoon from 2-5! I don't like the wind tunnel that our dorm creates with the grammer school and the SRC. I don't like when our cafeteria serves fish because the smell makes me gag. I don't like sketchy boys on our brother floor. I don't like the way my roomate babytalks to her boyfriend and when she calls him cutie (UGH). I love my roomate and we are great friends but she really needs to lose this guy. I don't like how people drive around the "U" in the middle of the night and honk thier horns and wake my up.

This has ended up being really long but its a taste of my life here at school!
Current Mood: sick

4th February 2005

8:24am: my new favorite song
"Have you ever"- Shawn McDonald

Have you ever wanted to be someone else
Have you ever wanted just to be someone
Have you ever wanted to reach your dreams
Have you ever wanted life to be more than it seems
I have tasted of a love so wide
That it stops all my time
I have tasted of a love so deep
That it blows my mind
Have you ever wanted to reach up and touch the sky
Have you ever wanted to pack it up and say good-bye
Have you ever wanted someone to care
Have you ever wanted someone to be there
He is sweet, He is sweet
What your looking for
Is my sweet, sweet Jesus
What You're looking for
Is my sweet Lord

Friday is here!
Current Mood: recumbent

30th January 2005

8:50pm: Best weekend ever... for the most part
I went home this weekend, and yes i go home a lot, but i had a good reason this time. My friends who live in Maryland,or at least the east coast, and go it school in Indiana came to visit my old youth pastor who lives in my town which used to be their old youth pastor. Yeah, i know, really complicated but you get to know people from all over due to youth group conferences and retreats. I told my family i was coming home to visit with Barb and Tom (the old youth pastor and his wife) and my friends and that i wouldn't be spending much time at home but my dad was still pissed at me the whole weekend. He always seems to find some reason to be displeased with me, never fails. Anyway- I didn't even go home on friday, i spent the night at barb and tom's and didn't go home until saturday afternoon. I thought i should spend at least some quality time with the fam but yeah, they decided the carpets should be cleaned. I don't know why i even went home. I went back to Barb and tom's that night and hung out with everyone watching movies and playing "Scene It", which is a great game if you watch a lot of movies. Sunday i went to church and then went back to Barb and tom's becasue Luke drove me back to school on their way back to Indiana. I love hanging out with the Maryland gang. They are soo cool and i really wish i could see them more than like 2 times a year, maybe 3. I decided that the next time i go back to visit luke and everyone else at barb and tom's i am just staying with barb and tom for the weekend so i don't have to deal with my family. They drove me crazy. I love them but i just don't get along with my dad and it is emotionally draining trying to deal with him. I talk to girls on my floor that have really close relationships with thier fathers and i envy that. My dad is someone i fear and there is no relationship outside that fear. I love him because he is my father but beyond that there isn't much else between us. Throughout highschool i always denied the emptiness of our relationship, but after spending so much time apart from him i realized i don't miss being around him at all. It is actually kind of like a weight has been lifted from my chest. This may sound bad but i wouldn't miss my dad if my parents got divorced and i were to never see him again.

This has affected my relationship with my heavenly father though. Over the summer at Conference in Utah i realized that I veiw God like i do my father. I only see the disciplinary, fearing side of God. I have missed out on the fact that He is a loving God that calls us his children. He loves us sooo much that he let his own son die so that we, his other children could have a relationship with him forever. It has taken a while, but through lots of prayer i have been able to slowly experience God as a loving and caring father. I hope someday my dad and i will have a relationship like that but i have a feeling it won't be until i am on my own with my own family.
Current Mood: happy but have things on mind

21st January 2005

8:16am: FRIDAY!!!
So here I am on a lovely friday morning, waiting for my roomate to get ready so we can go eat breakfast, and ready to conquer the day... not really. I am just so glad it is friday. Friday knows when to come, when to make people feel better, and most of all, knows how to have a good time! Yeah, no real plans for tonight and as the story goes with all freshman at Wheaton, no cars. *sigh* oh well, I'm sure we will find something to do around here. Maybe a Blockbuster run and some movie watcing. Wait, isn't that what we always do around here...YES! I think i have watched more movies here than all the ones i watched in highschool combined, no joke. Whenever we are bored its "hey, wanna watch a movie?" and of course we do since who would want to study over watching a great flick like Troy, S.W.A.T., or Coyote Ugly (just to name a few that we have watched over the past week). Oh yeah, and i saw Napolian Dynamite for the first time and i thought it sucked beyond belief!! Worst movie ever. I already knew the whole movie going into it since everyone quotes in incessently. I don't really know what people see in that movie though! Anyway, breakfast time!

19th January 2005

5:51pm: Tampa here we come!
First i would like to say thanks to all those who have responded to my last entry. It's fun to debate/ hear other's ideas through this thing.

Wednesday's suck for me and today was no exception. I had class from 9:15 until 5:00 with no breaks. well actually today wasn't so bad since my chem lab got out early. You know what, i take back that today sucked It was a good day for the most part. Besides my lab getting out early I got into the missions trip that I wanted to go on to Tampa, FL over spring break. I am so excited! There are 9 people going including me. We get to serve the urban poor and work at a local children's hospital where we will minister to children recovering from or preparing for surgery. I thought that since i want to be a pediatrician that this trip would be a so much fun and i really hope it is.

God is good!

Oh, and for the record, the song "Me and Charlie Talkin'" happens to be a great song!!! No matter what anybody says!!! not even lauren or molly can convince me otherwise!!!
Current Mood: chipper

17th January 2005

11:50pm: Relationships...
I watched the movie When Harry Met Sally the other day and if you have not seen it there is a very controversial quote that comes up, "men and women cannot be friends because either one or both wants to be more than friends (even if subconsciencely) and thus, the relationship is doomed".That isn't the exact quote but you get the point. Anyway- I have to say that I agree with quote for the most part. I have witnessed the fact that some of my relationships with guys have been altered in a negative way because of someone's feelings getting involved. The relationship can never go back to the level that it orginally was at. And i think the reason that i don't agree with it is because the relationships that i still have with guys has yet to be altered for that very reason. This may not all make sense to you but it does in my head and that is all that really matters. It saddens me that guys and girls cannot just be friends after an event comes up and that things get really awkward between them. As humans in general, why can't we just talk about things with each other. Why does everything have to be "beaten around the bush" or talked about in a round about way. I don't really know where i am going with this, and, like last night, it is late and i think too much when it is late. I guess i am just frustrated with this because I hate losing friendships that i care about deeply to stupid events. Why do people have to ignore each other when something happens. Just tell the other person what you are thinking and how you feel and give closure to the relationship if you feel it has to be ended. Don't just leave the other person hanging.
I would really like to know how others feel on this subject so PLEASE comment on what i have said!
Can guys and girls be good friends and keep a healthy relationship???
Current Mood: confused

16th January 2005

1:12am: the weekend... finally!
This past week seemed to be sooo long but maybe that is only because it was my first week back to school and new classes started. I have to say that i love the weekend and who doesn't?! Friday I went to the opera our school put on, The Mikado, with Tannah. It was amusing. The whole thing was in english so that made it interesting. When i got back i went to Ashley's room and then we came down to my room to watch a movie. The movie, Little Women. I know, I know, not your first choice but i happen to love it. It is one of my favorite movies of all time (and it helps that Christian Bale plays Laurie). I spent most of today studying which was much needed in the bio area, i'm not gonna lie! A bunch of us went to the basketball game against Illinois Wesleyan, and... we lost. Oh, well, there's always the next game. It was also "open floor" and you know what that means!!! Boys!!! Just kidding. I hate opend floor. I really think that our floors should always be open but it does'nt matter what i think. Boys coming to our rooms should not be such an event! Dan and Ryan came down to visit us basement beauties and we ended up going to The Beam even though they could legally be on our floor. The evening with the guys was spent with lauren and i laughing about inside jokes, the guys just looking at us like we were crazy, and everyone making fun of my "old man" laugh. I can't help it!!! If you know of that laugh or have been priveledged enough to hear it then you probably are laughing right now. See, sometimes I just laugh so hard that all that comes out is a hoarse wheeze. It is quite funny and it makes me laugh even more. It is all a horrible cycle. Anway- I am just rambling now because it is late and I had caffine so i am not tired.
Current Mood: energetic

13th January 2005

5:14pm: Classes and more classes (and maybe a little Troy)
My schedule is really proving to suck this semester. Wheaton needs to figure out some new system of registering for classes so freshman don't get the shaft! Wednesday is the worst day of the week. I have class straight from 9:15 until 5:00 with my only break being chapel. That is so sad! Thursday i have a 3 hour bio lab right in the middle of my day which completely throws my life off. Ohhhh, well. There are people with worst schedules so i can't complain too much. I don't have any classes on tuesdays so that is pretty good i guess. Chem and bio are going to be just as hard as last semester if not harder. I have the new semester zeal of studying so so far everything seems to be going pretty well. I just need to keep up the word.

Lauren and i watched Troy tonight and i am going to post our funny quotes wheter you get them or not. Some are not all that appropriate but deal!

1."I'm chillin in the temple, nope, now it's a little stressful"
2."My 3 year old cousin could do that... wait, i don't have a 3 year old cousin!"
4."I want to be Brad Pitts lover of the sword"
5."Did they NOT see the virgin robes!"
6."This is soooo not meant to be a funny movie, but i find it hilarious"
7."I don't think they know what the virgin robes are!"
8."Hi,my name is Paris and i as wondering if you'd come to Troy with me and we can braid each other's hair"
9."Brad Pitt's like 10,000 years old, didn't you know?"
10."Stop before you trickle" "I have't yet, but i have to pee so that may be coming"
11."I worked hard for those" (aka- i lost my virgin robes for those sunchips)
12."That ain't no virgin toga, that's a baby-making toga"
13."I really wish i could give Brad Pitt my virgin robes but i don't think i'm allowed"
14. "Didn't you know that's what permanent means? It will last forever" (unlike her virgin robes! haha)
15."If it got me Brad Pitt, I would so wear moo moos for the rest of my life!"
16."I'm not planning on losing my virgin robes anytime soon so i can have hairy legs"
Current Mood: mellow

10th January 2005

7:50pm: Back at school!
Unlike some of my friends I am thrilled to be back at school among my friends. It was nice being home and all but I have found that I love my friends here and I wouldn't trade them for the world. Christmas was good. My family and i drove to North Carolina where my Aunt and Uncle live. It was the first time in 3 years that my whole family could be together for christmas. Break was spent relaxing and hanging with friends. It is always weird going back home becuase I'm used to not have any parental supervision and then i come home to supervision. I didn't mind all that much though. It just took time getting used to.

Life on 1 west is great except we lost one of our friends. Michelle decided not to return to Wheaton this semester and we all miss her very much!
Current Mood: cheerful

11th December 2004

1:17pm: Finals...Ahhhh!!!
I know, it has been a while since i last wrote an entry but this past week was the week from Hell. I'm sure you can all understand since there is so much stress that goes along with the end of the semester!

I should be studying for my chem final right now but i really don't want to. I have no mental strength left to study this weekend. I wish I could lay around all doing doing nothing but reality is, I will fail my finals if i don't study.

Thursday night we raided our brother floor. It was a JAmes Bond themed raid. We all dressed up in black to go wake them up in the middle of the night, then we went and hid around campus and the guys had to go find us using a set of clues like a scavenger hunt. When that was all over they came back to our lounge, which we had decorated like a cocktail lounge, and had a party. We all dressed up in black dresses. Emily and I dressed up like guys to be people's escort. It was sooo much fun.

Last night Maria, Molly, and I opened each other's christmas gifts we got for each other. I got Molly a pair earings and molly and bought maria a pair of honey bee boxers from JCrew since she is the Iowa State Honey queen. Maria got me a pink down vest from American EAgle. Just about everyday i say i want a pink down vest and i guess she listened. I didn't think she was going to get something so expensive but she likes to buy gifts for people. I love her for it though. I have a wanted a pink vest for soooo long!!!

Good luck with finals!! I am done on tuesday and then i am going home!!! See everyone in Crystal Lake in 4 days!!!
Current Mood: and stressed

6th December 2004

12:23pm: FINALS!!!!!
Sorry that i haven't updated this in sooo long but, well, life has been pretty hectic, and I'm sure you all know how that is going. I went home this weekend and Maria came with. I know i go home a lot but that is just a perk of living close to home. My family got our christmas tree and i was able to decorate it with them. It was nice to spend a weekend relaxing with the people i love. This week though is going to be one of the hardest ever!!! And it isn't even finals week!!! Today i have a chem test, tomorrow a bio lab, wed a chem quiz, thur a chem lab final and an art survey test, and friday i have a lit paper due. The good thing is that i only have two finals: bio and chem. They are both on tues so i will be going home tues evening or wed morning. I can't wait for break! We are going to North Carolina to get together wth all the fam that i haven't seen in years.

Yesterday i conquered one of my biggest fears! I got my ears pierced!!! I know that for most it is not a big deal but if anyone knows me well, they know that i am deathly afraid of needles and things piercing my skin. I hyperventilate, literally, when i have to get a shot. The last time i had to give blood i seriously thought i was having a heart attack. Maria and took the train home sunday (and no, there isn't a train that goes directly from crystal lake to wheaton) and we had an hour and 40 min wait until our connecting train. I kept going into claires looking at all the earings and finally consented to getting them pierced. I still can't believe I did it but yeah, i did. So proud!!! and excited to be able to wear cool earings and borrow all of emily's cool ones!!!
Praying for everyone and their finals!
Current Mood: i don't get chem

29th November 2004

4:04pm: Thanksgiving... Words cannot express...
Ummm... for those of you I haven't talked to lets just say break was interesting in more ways than one. It was really nice coming home and sleeping in my own big bed with my dog Harry, being with my family, and not having to worry about anything school related!

Most of break was spent visiting with friends that i haven't seen in soooo long. Kelly and Jess came and picked me up from school on Tues. When i walked in my room after class they were sitting at my desk. I guess that's what i get for not locking the door. It was fun to show them around Wheaton and showing off our #1 cafeteria food. Wednesday Cole and I took Catherine out for lunch and then we went and visited her mom for a little while. It snowed all day so it was a lot of fun to sit inside and enjoy the warm fire my dad made. Wednesday night Miriam and Liz came over to hang out. I have to say that after being away from my friends for so long it made me realize how much i miss them! Miriam is awesome and i have to say that i really do miss the snorting! Thursday was spent eating, watching football, watching my brother and cole play football on X-Box, and chillin' with the fam. Friday my mom and I were going to go shopping bright and early but she came down with a migrane so that was canceled. Instead my dad took us all out for breakfast and it was fun to spend time with him. Friday night we went to Sweeney's house to hang out with her boyfriend from Cali. Seeing everyone from youth group made me miss it soo much. I don't miss high school at all but i do miss youth group and the relationships that i had to leave behind. Saturday my mom, brother, and I went to the Gurnee Mills outlet mall to do some shopping. It was nice to spend some time alone with my mom. I got a new winter coat, jeans, sweats, and some other stuff. It was a lot of fun. That night Cole and I went back to Sweeney's house for a surprise birthday party for Mark. BAsically everyone from youth group was there so it was kind of a reunion. Everyone but Ryan Henshaw!!! I didn't see that kid at all over break and i have to say i was a little sad! Oh well...

I have to say that i really missed everyone back at school though. When you live with people 24/7 you get really close to them and not being around them is sad. My roomate and I really missed each other and called each other everyday. I don't know how we are all going to survive summer and 3 months away from everyone. It is going to suck really bad!!! I hope you all had a great break!!!! Finals are coming up but only 3 weeks until Christmas break. Speaking of Christmas... Maria and i spent almost 2 hours decorating our room for Christmas! IT is awesome!!!! We hung garland with pinecones, red bows, lights, we have a tree, and presents wrapped under it!! We always have christmas music playing, why you may ask?! Because we absolutely love christmas!!!!! Who doesn't besides Megan Krenz?!?!?!
Current Mood: festive describes it better!

22nd November 2004

12:05pm: Going Home!!!
So much has happened this week!! This entry would be way too long if i even began to describe all that has happened! So one thing i have found out is that you may think you know someone really, really well, but in the end you don't. That has happened to me and well, i don't really know what to think yet. I spent the week getting ready for Iowa. It took me a week to write a 4 page paper ( I think i broke a record for the longest time it took to write the shortest paper), I studied very minimal for my bio test, I played about 8 indoor soccer games, I picked up the nickname "mosquito bites" (you can ask me about it but i am not going to explain it here), and i went to Iowa for the weekend.

Iowa was amazing to say the least! I decided that i am going to move there someday. I basically figured out my future over the weekend. I want to go to med school at the University of Iowa, Maria's aunt hires doctors so i have connections to get a job in the Ceder Rapids area, I am going to marry a rugged cowboy (yes, he has to be rugged), and spend the rest of my life in the country. So for now that is my plan but God always has his own ideas for my life and i seem to change my own mind weekly. I am serious about the rugged cowboy, and oh yeah, I am going ot buy a pickup truck, a really big one, and drive it around! Iowa is sooo pretty. I always thought it was like Illinoit: flat, full of farms, and ugly. But i was soo in for a shock. First there are lots and lots of hills, not all land is farmed, and it is soooo pretty. Friday we went to a town called Swisher where we went line dancing at a bar. It was the hickest place i have ever been too!!! No joke! It was a lot of fun though. I line danced of course and laughed at the fact that when guys slow danced with their women they would remove their hats and cover the girls butt. It was hysterical, especially since most were all drunk. Saturday we went to Maria's Uncle's restaurant for breakfast. IT was one of the best breakfasts ever!!! That afternoon we went to the Iowa vs. Wisconsin football game. That was quite the experience. It was awesome to go to a big ten football game since wheaton games are quieter than my highschool games! That night we went and hung out with one of her friends from highschool, Geoff. Sunday we went to the most German church ever. I felt very out of place considering most of the people were over 60 and the women wore black bonnets, shawls, and black aprons. I though i was in amish country for a moment. See, Maria is from the Amana colonies which were started by germans. THe church is the same church that was started by the original settlers. i have to say that it was interesting when i found out that all the men sat on one side and women on the other. Nothing like my church back at home or at school. The music was all sung without instruments.

I am going home tomorrow, Kelly and Jess are coming to pick Cole and I up. I am soooo excited to see all my friends again!! The week will be full of hangouts and parties i hope!!!
Current Mood: I can't wait to go home!!!!!!

13th November 2004

1:50pm: Why i hate the library....
I have a paper due next week and since I am going to Iowa next weekend i need to get it done now. I have to go to the library today to get books and stuff for it, but I hat the library. One, it is entirely to quiet, even the talking section, two, it is too confusing to figure out where all the books are, and three, it is ugly. Nothing profound but I just hate going there.

Yesterday was pretty fun. Leslie and I hung out with Ken, Kaitlyn, and Ashely. We stopped by the 2 east chai lounge and saw the lobby rats (people who hang out in the lobby ALL the time) preform some songs. The whole thing was a good idea but the chai could have been better and there should have been auditions for who could preform. Not to be mean but some people just weren't meant to have a good voice. I'm one of them and that's why you don't see my sharing my voice with the world! Later in the night we finally found someone with a car, Tannah, and wen't and saw a movie. We always end up going to the expensive theater, i don't know why, and I had to shell out $8 for a movie. We saw After The Sun Sets, it was really good, you should all go see it! Leslie and I had a sleepover in my room last night since Maria is home this weekend. She talks in her sleep like none other and woke me up with her conversations. It was weird. Anyway- I really need to go start my paper so this is all for now!
Current Mood: mellow

10th November 2004

6:29pm: It's all downhill from here!!!!!!
So the hard part of my week is over and I am soooo happy!!!! My art test was the easiest thing ever and i think i could have aced it without even studying!! My chem test on the other hand was a different story. Lets just say that i am very glad it is all over. This weekend Leslie and i and whoever else are going to chicago and it is going to be a blast! We don't really feel like spending money so we are going to take a picnic to Millennium park and are just going to hang out. I am really excited about the whole thing. I decided that i am going to find something to do every weekend so i don't go out of my mind. If that means going into the city every weekend or bowling then so be it! Emily and i also decided that we need to branch out and meet other people not just on our floor. It is hard living with your friends and having to see them 24/7, but whatever.

I have been playing like 5 soccer games a week and i think it has finally caught up with me! I hyper extended my knee, i got kicked in the shin and have a lump now, and i have gotten taken down numerous times and i am sore all over. It is so worth it though!!! I live for my indoor nights!

Only 1 1/2 weeks until thanksgiving!!! I don't know if i am going to make it!
Current Mood: ecstatic

9th November 2004

12:51pm: I hate chemistry!!!
So i haven't written in a while but deal with it. I actually, for once, have not spent a lot of time in my room this week. Last weekend was AWESOME!!! It was family weekend so my parents came down on Friday morning/afternoon. They ALL went to bio lecture with me and then chapel. I had my brother sit by me and i think he was intimidated by all the pretty girls he had to sit by :) We then went to lunch at SAGA and then they went home. I guess they had enough of me (my mom had to work). So, since my fam was gone i hung out with Emil's fam with Josh. We went to the talent show that night which was pretty good. Some girl did some sensual jazz number and since we go to wheaton, people told her to get off stage and such. The football players of course, whistled, hooted, and gave her a standing ovation. Go figure! After that we dropped her parents off at the hotel and took the car and went bowling. We met up with a bunch of joshs friends. Cosmic bowling is awesome! I am really bad but it's still fun! Sat i played softball with a bunch of guys from our brother floor and then went to the soccer game with Cole. Sunday was church and i had to babysit.

COle, emily and i are going to see Chris tomlin and Casting Crowns in concert in Dec so be jealous!!! I am so excited.

I had an art test today which was about the easiest test i have ever taken in my life! I have a chem test tomorrow and i have no clue what i am doing. I really don't get electron configuration and such. It really sucks! oh well, something i have to get through.

We won our soccer game yesterday! It was really intense. Some guy took me out and I didn't really think anything of it. Today at lunch he came up to me and apologized because he said all the guys on his team were giving him a hard time for taking down a girl. It's soccer! what do you except. Its part of the game. If anybody knows me they know htat i am just as aggressive as the guys. he was nice though.

Back to studying!!!!
Current Mood: lazy

2nd November 2004

1:44pm: I am sick of the "Wheaton Bubble"...
So this weekend Emily and I went to her roomates house just to relax and what not and boy were we spoiled. We got to eat home cooked food and best of all we got to be part of the real world again. I like college and all and i am so glad that i chose to go to Wheaton but sometimes i get sick of living in this society where everything evolves around school. It was nice this weekend to be around people not 18-24, such as children and adults. There isn't much to do on campus except hang out at the Beamer Center. you can walk to downtown wheaton but that still feels like campus. You can't escape Wheaton College unless you have a car and since freshman aren't allowed to have ones, we are stuck to spending everyday at school. I guess it will just take some time getting used to being here. I was talking to my friend Lauren, who we all call "Bunny" (long story), and she told me that I need to look at these four years as training before i enter the real world. It is very true though. Here i get to get a Liberal Arts education with a Christian background and i am able to grow spiritually, i need to utilize it so when in four years i am able to make it on my own. Obviously you can tell that a lot has been going through my mind lately. I haven't been in the best of moods and people around me have been able to tell. Lately i have been enclosing myself in my room so i can escape wheaton somewhat (its all in my head) and i have not been myself. Poeple who have known me for a while would be able to tell that the "giggle", as Kelly puts it, is gone. I have been feeling better though and i think that talking to some of the upperclassmen has helped. It is always nice to know that you aren't the only person feeling the way you do. It is also nice to have friends that are there for you, even when you are grumpy and not the most fun to be around.
Current Mood: contemplative

28th October 2004

10:35pm: The typical day at college....
I did absolutely nothing work related yesterday. It was so nice to not have to worry about homework or tests. I know, your all jealous, haha. Today though was spent studying for a chem quiz that i know nothing about. Its all good now though because Lindsey and I went up to our brother to make Jordan help us. Jordan is in Honors Chem and is really smart! Tomorrow is Friday and is "dress up day" for our floor. Every Friday our brother floor has "GQ Friday" where they dress up in suits and ties and such. We have only done it once before but Lauren decided that this Friday we should all dress up. So too bad you aren't here to see me actually make an effort in dressing myself in the morning.

Emily and i went and worked out agian today. We didn't yesterday like we were supposed to so today was a substitute for that. I will not be able to walk tomorrow. Emily is so hard core with our workouts. It feels so good though!!! Anyway- this is all not htat important becuase nothing important really happened these last couple of days. There isn't that much that happens on campus.
Current Mood: chipper
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